Trauma narrows our world...
It can truly make us feel like we are actually going crazy. Worse still, it seems to come out of nowhere because it just does not make any sense!
You are fine one minute and then the next, feeling like you are fighting for your life even though you were only thinking about what clothes to wear for the day.
Then you're stuck asking yourself once again, 'why the hell was that so terrifying for me?! I don't get it!'
If you are able to get past just enough of all the confusing questions, internalized shame and guilt to reach a place where you want to seek some guidance to deal with this, it can likely feel like the three-ring shit show just got worse. Because now, you have to talk about it.
If you are one of those who have painstakingly clear memories of the trauma, the idea of sharing the details of such confusingly horrendous experiences feels like the worst idea in the long, sad history of bad ideas. And for those who do not have any real clear memories at all, where does one even begin to unpack that?
As luck would have it that is where somatic therapy, specifically Sensorimotor Psychotherapy in my case, comes in handy. I do not need to you to recount the details, I do not need the story. You do not have to tell me anything you are not ready to say out loud yet, or ever.
Contrary to popular belief, we do not need a memory to do successful trauma work together because your body holds the memory; that is what I work with, that is how we heal.
Also contrary to popular belief, somatic trauma therapy does not mean touch therapy. Touch can be a very important and powerful aspect of healing, but not a requirement for effective trauma therapy. If we ever mutually agreed to use "touch" in session, it will always be with a buffer (ie, a pillow, blanket, cloth etc) and it will always be under your control.
Trauma was done to the body and only by including the body can we hope to heal in a lasting, meaningful way.
It is all at once the hardest and most fulfilling work we will do in our lives.